i never thought that, talking on the phone, can be so demanding, so overwhelming.....
it's the first day of being a tele agent, or so-called tele markerter, the so-called training was just a simple introduction or background given on the project i'm working on, and also a show of how the system works in the company, nothing more than that, and i was expected to explore in the wide ocean......
i don't like it, i don't like the environment of the office, it's congested with tables, fitted maximally to accommodate as many computers and people as possible, and when everything kick start, it's very much like a trade centre of stock, where everyone speak very fast, move very fast, work very fast, in case you wonder, i hate those....
my supervisor speaks and works like a bullet train, well i think she's working hard to exceed the speed of a bullet train, and guess what, she's sitting just beside me.....
i have a tendency to feel disgusted every time i start out something new, i don't know if this is also another norm of me, but what i can tell is, i still overwhelmed by all the calls i made, and i hope i can stand it, before i started to get really crazy......
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
师生关系
今天完成了science dean's office的第三天工作，也不知道是不是这个长假的最后一天。。。
宽柔独中参观，到访了数个较普通的实验室及一个学生宿舍。别的事没干，就陪着学生和老师跑了一整天。。。
不知为何，一大班学生给我的感觉，就是一群大小孩，还未长大的小孩。。。
老师和他们的关系，总让我觉得，有点像小学的师生关系，老师对孩子的关怀，好像我从中学已经鲜少感觉得到，所以有点让我羡慕的感觉？我也不懂，或许师生关系，就是应该如此吧！我感觉不了，或许是没有这份福分。
宽柔独中参观，到访了数个较普通的实验室及一个学生宿舍。别的事没干，就陪着学生和老师跑了一整天。。。
不知为何，一大班学生给我的感觉，就是一群大小孩，还未长大的小孩。。。
老师和他们的关系，总让我觉得，有点像小学的师生关系，老师对孩子的关怀，好像我从中学已经鲜少感觉得到，所以有点让我羡慕的感觉？我也不懂，或许师生关系，就是应该如此吧！我感觉不了，或许是没有这份福分。
Sunday, May 18, 2008
luck
i guess my luck still ain't improving......well in case any of you guys wonder, the first 2 were taken after i've FINALLY shifted and cleaned my vacation room, while the last 2 were taken when i had to wait for a whole week before i got a room to shift and had to stay in a messy room, without able to unpack all the stuff....
i seriously have no idea of why is my luck missing after finals.....i wish anyone can tell me.....
i had to endure staying in a store room for a damn whole week without having mood to do anything constructive, friends came down from malaysia for a few days and even when my initial plan was to join them, due to the f**king unlucky series of incidents i wasn't able to join them, when i know they came down to visit us, i had my toe hit on the door, causing basically rather immobile for a few days, and today when i finally am confident with my recovery i wore sport shoes to play badminton, i sprained my ankle......
ok, fine, it's luck to blamed, i didn't do anything wrong, in fact i didn't do anything, feel that it's been so long although it was only actually a week......
and the weather is freaking hot here, again......
oh god....
Friday, May 16, 2008
过一天算一天
朋友来了几天，原定的计划是好好地与他们玩上几天，结果因为一连串的意外，搞得从头到尾都没见面几次，虽不能说非常难过，但难掩失望之色。
也不能说完全没见面，还是在一起用了几餐，走了一会儿的校园及百货公司。问题在哪里呢？我是真的老了吗？还是，我脱节了？之前一直被朋友笑说我的身体逐渐老化，我却不敢苟同。当然，自己的身形已经没有当年的标准，赘肉开始增长，但也不至于到达老化的境界，我的体能还是有相当的水准。既是如此，为何朋友还会开这样的玩笑？我不禁开始怀疑，自己的生活习惯，开始与他们脱节。一开始以为的，是与他们脱节，表示与年轻脱节。过后再细细想来，也不禁哑然失笑，我如今走的路，过的生活，是自己的选择，但我的心境却从不觉老，又何来变老之谈？
但说真的，人体老化的现象实在趋向年轻化，自己的身材也开始在转变，才不禁让自己提高了警惕。开始注意了自己的生活习惯。早睡早起，多喝水，多吃蔬果，少吃油腻食物，多运动，等等等等。。。。年轻，是本钱，但是不是无尽的泉源，带的有一天突然发觉这个道理，可能对某些人来说，为时已晚。
话说回来，最近这几天的霉运实在不想多提，就算身处三个月的长假，也没有期待或雀跃的心情。迫切所想的，是能尽快完成搬家的使命，至少让我真正感觉到身处在一间房间，而不是货舱。如无意外周末应该能够完成，但愿不要再出什么乱子。工作呢？懒啊，我从不否认自己由头到尾都不想在假期里工作，若不是假期长得可怕，真是想也不用想。随缘吧，想太多，只怕连假期最基本的权利，躲开压力的机会都丧失。
基本上，我的日子，还是过一天算一天。。。。
也不能说完全没见面，还是在一起用了几餐，走了一会儿的校园及百货公司。问题在哪里呢？我是真的老了吗？还是，我脱节了？之前一直被朋友笑说我的身体逐渐老化，我却不敢苟同。当然，自己的身形已经没有当年的标准，赘肉开始增长，但也不至于到达老化的境界，我的体能还是有相当的水准。既是如此，为何朋友还会开这样的玩笑？我不禁开始怀疑，自己的生活习惯，开始与他们脱节。一开始以为的，是与他们脱节，表示与年轻脱节。过后再细细想来，也不禁哑然失笑，我如今走的路，过的生活，是自己的选择，但我的心境却从不觉老，又何来变老之谈？
但说真的，人体老化的现象实在趋向年轻化，自己的身材也开始在转变，才不禁让自己提高了警惕。开始注意了自己的生活习惯。早睡早起，多喝水，多吃蔬果，少吃油腻食物，多运动，等等等等。。。。年轻，是本钱，但是不是无尽的泉源，带的有一天突然发觉这个道理，可能对某些人来说，为时已晚。
话说回来，最近这几天的霉运实在不想多提，就算身处三个月的长假，也没有期待或雀跃的心情。迫切所想的，是能尽快完成搬家的使命，至少让我真正感觉到身处在一间房间，而不是货舱。如无意外周末应该能够完成，但愿不要再出什么乱子。工作呢？懒啊，我从不否认自己由头到尾都不想在假期里工作，若不是假期长得可怕，真是想也不用想。随缘吧，想太多，只怕连假期最基本的权利，躲开压力的机会都丧失。
基本上，我的日子，还是过一天算一天。。。。
Sunday, May 11, 2008
problems
i don't understand, suddenly i stopped myself and keep questioning, what's the purpose of all these?? i'm like spinning rounds and rounds for nothing, and i've spent quite an amount, for nothing??
yeah, 3 months holiday sounds attractive to a lot of people, even to us, the so-called students who actually worked like cows and horses for the employer called NUS and the ultimate boss called Singapore.....
i love holiday, but the thing is, when the holiday gets too long, it becomes something that i have troubles going through.....
well since last year i didn't really spend time being here, working some part time job, i decided that it might be a good idea to give it a try this time, for whatever reasons you wanna say...
and so exam timetable came out, my last paper happened to be on the 6th of may, here comes first problem, if i were to work on a 2 months temporary job here, what's left is only about 3 weeks at home, assuming that there's really someone who is willing to hire a part timer for only 2 months...
and second problem pops up, it's a need for me to come back probably 2 weeks earlier for UROPS, at least to pick up some basic lab skills before i can even say that i'm doing anything productive and not a liability of the lab and all the staff....
if that's the case, there's the 3rd problem now, i can't bear the fact that i can only stay at home for a week, coz once i start up UROPS project, it's very unlikely that i can go home.....
i'm going for an interview tomorrow afternoon, which i have no confident in, and i still am not able to move in to my room..
i need some time........
yeah, 3 months holiday sounds attractive to a lot of people, even to us, the so-called students who actually worked like cows and horses for the employer called NUS and the ultimate boss called Singapore.....
i love holiday, but the thing is, when the holiday gets too long, it becomes something that i have troubles going through.....
well since last year i didn't really spend time being here, working some part time job, i decided that it might be a good idea to give it a try this time, for whatever reasons you wanna say...
and so exam timetable came out, my last paper happened to be on the 6th of may, here comes first problem, if i were to work on a 2 months temporary job here, what's left is only about 3 weeks at home, assuming that there's really someone who is willing to hire a part timer for only 2 months...
and second problem pops up, it's a need for me to come back probably 2 weeks earlier for UROPS, at least to pick up some basic lab skills before i can even say that i'm doing anything productive and not a liability of the lab and all the staff....
if that's the case, there's the 3rd problem now, i can't bear the fact that i can only stay at home for a week, coz once i start up UROPS project, it's very unlikely that i can go home.....
i'm going for an interview tomorrow afternoon, which i have no confident in, and i still am not able to move in to my room..
i need some time........
Friday, May 9, 2008
health
it's 7 am in the morning, feng ee just left foyer, headed to golden mile complex and then will take bus back to kl half an hour ago, for her grandma's funeral, which, suddenly reminds me of mine...i mean my grandma's.....
i wasn't close to my grandparent, honestly, other than my father's side grandpa, i seriously don't feel much pain when they passed away..
ok, that doesn't mean that i'm not concerned at all, it's probably because i didn't stay together with them, and i was never the grandchild they liked the most, yeah, probably i'm hald cold-blooded, you can say that.....
i missed both my grandmas' funeral, father's side because of STPM, mother's side because of NUS CA, both of them passed away due to diseases, as what majority of old people do. Something i realized after they passed away was really the fear to diseases, not for myself, but my parent, it was only after that, i started to pay more attention to my parent's health and, be very very anxious when any unhealthy symptoms appear on them....
i'm a life sciences student, day by day i'm exposed to more and more of mechanisms of diseases, and trust me, the more you learn about diseases, the more you feel vulnerable, and the more you feel worried for your loved ones...
talking about my grandpa, i remembered how i lost my someone i loved very much for the first time, he was the healthiest, but he was the first to leave, and i can still recalled the day he was declared dead was the day he's supposed to be discharged of the hospital, it's nothing more than just a routine body check up in the hospital...
i was still a little young to make myself understand the reasons behind that time, but when i saw the doctor just sat there and said nothing could be done that time, there's a sudden urge in me that i'd go and gave him a few punches and slaps on his face.....
he was a role model, he was the one who care the most for my well being, my studies other than my parent, i remembered him giving me rewards everytime i had good results, he was the inspiration i pursued great heights in academics.....
health conscious is something that i'm getting more concerned nowadays, your body ages faster than you can ever imagine, after you realize it some other day, it could be too late
i wasn't close to my grandparent, honestly, other than my father's side grandpa, i seriously don't feel much pain when they passed away..
ok, that doesn't mean that i'm not concerned at all, it's probably because i didn't stay together with them, and i was never the grandchild they liked the most, yeah, probably i'm hald cold-blooded, you can say that.....
i missed both my grandmas' funeral, father's side because of STPM, mother's side because of NUS CA, both of them passed away due to diseases, as what majority of old people do. Something i realized after they passed away was really the fear to diseases, not for myself, but my parent, it was only after that, i started to pay more attention to my parent's health and, be very very anxious when any unhealthy symptoms appear on them....
i'm a life sciences student, day by day i'm exposed to more and more of mechanisms of diseases, and trust me, the more you learn about diseases, the more you feel vulnerable, and the more you feel worried for your loved ones...
talking about my grandpa, i remembered how i lost my someone i loved very much for the first time, he was the healthiest, but he was the first to leave, and i can still recalled the day he was declared dead was the day he's supposed to be discharged of the hospital, it's nothing more than just a routine body check up in the hospital...
i was still a little young to make myself understand the reasons behind that time, but when i saw the doctor just sat there and said nothing could be done that time, there's a sudden urge in me that i'd go and gave him a few punches and slaps on his face.....
he was a role model, he was the one who care the most for my well being, my studies other than my parent, i remembered him giving me rewards everytime i had good results, he was the inspiration i pursued great heights in academics.....
health conscious is something that i'm getting more concerned nowadays, your body ages faster than you can ever imagine, after you realize it some other day, it could be too late
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Exams?goodbye.......temporarily
exams over.....but i don't have the joyful feeling....not at all....and this is the first time i don't feel so....
last paper wasn't a good one, it's long time ago since i last got shocked by a paper with only mcq, well today i had another one, 40 questions in 2 hours, honestly you can finish it within 45 minutes, or you can actually take more than 2 hours, depends on what is the outcome you want.....
the damn swimming pool was closed once i reached just after my paper, arh....after the agonizing reading, can't you just let me exercise??
went queensway and ikea to shop for some necessities...ended up paying expensive prices for something that's not i wanted to have....my wallet is bleeding...internally....
it's definitely not the best start of vacation this time, i've got things awaiting for me even after exams, gotta start reading on cell culture protocols for coming UROPS, gotta shift to a new room, arh...after one year i'll need to pack and unpack again...gotta look for a temporary job, here comes the best part, i'm not so sure if i can get a job that meets my requirement, i want it to end before July, and i don't wanna work as a SALES ASSISTANT anymore, it's gonna be headache-ing, yet i know i have the obligation....
well it's already 2 am, i forgot when was the last time i stayed up that late, and it's not gonna be good to my health, so i guess i should really go to bed now, updates to be continued....
last paper wasn't a good one, it's long time ago since i last got shocked by a paper with only mcq, well today i had another one, 40 questions in 2 hours, honestly you can finish it within 45 minutes, or you can actually take more than 2 hours, depends on what is the outcome you want.....
the damn swimming pool was closed once i reached just after my paper, arh....after the agonizing reading, can't you just let me exercise??
went queensway and ikea to shop for some necessities...ended up paying expensive prices for something that's not i wanted to have....my wallet is bleeding...internally....
it's definitely not the best start of vacation this time, i've got things awaiting for me even after exams, gotta start reading on cell culture protocols for coming UROPS, gotta shift to a new room, arh...after one year i'll need to pack and unpack again...gotta look for a temporary job, here comes the best part, i'm not so sure if i can get a job that meets my requirement, i want it to end before July, and i don't wanna work as a SALES ASSISTANT anymore, it's gonna be headache-ing, yet i know i have the obligation....
well it's already 2 am, i forgot when was the last time i stayed up that late, and it's not gonna be good to my health, so i guess i should really go to bed now, updates to be continued....
Thursday, May 1, 2008
updates
just a regular report during exam season i guess...
guess i'm already used to the mentality of only handling 3 papers long before reading week during this semester, that i suddenly realize i'm actually a little less stressed up compared to others only recently, just too bad that i guess, i'll be back to 5 modules again next semester onwards, nonetheless, i worked very hard for the other 2 previously....
current status:1 down and 2 more to go, the first one was chinese grammar, the module i dislike most this sem, i like mandarin, but maybe not TECHNICAL mandarin....the term paper before reading week DRIVED ME CRAZY....and so i decided to back up 1 S/U for it, unless there's surprises, which i doubt so, with the quality of my term paper....
the left over are metabolism and molecular bio, more or less memory work for the first one, and conceptual work for the latter i guess....i don't like metab, not only because of the heavy memorization, but also it's a biochemistry module, the DAMN DEPARTMENT IS FREAKINGLY DEMANDING.....
molecular biology was actually the one which freaked me out the most at first, that was only during the beginning, i like the syllabus, it's something relevant, and make more sense compared to some stupid memory work...oops..i didn't mean metab oh.....it's a very challenging module in terms of exam nevertheless....
so..what's my plan after exam??first destination has to be queensway, i've broken mine and feng ee's racquet string, not a good sign, doesn't show that you've got strength in playing badminton but just, not good in taking care of racquet.....
anyway, will keep it updated after all the papers..
guess i'm already used to the mentality of only handling 3 papers long before reading week during this semester, that i suddenly realize i'm actually a little less stressed up compared to others only recently, just too bad that i guess, i'll be back to 5 modules again next semester onwards, nonetheless, i worked very hard for the other 2 previously....
current status:1 down and 2 more to go, the first one was chinese grammar, the module i dislike most this sem, i like mandarin, but maybe not TECHNICAL mandarin....the term paper before reading week DRIVED ME CRAZY....and so i decided to back up 1 S/U for it, unless there's surprises, which i doubt so, with the quality of my term paper....
the left over are metabolism and molecular bio, more or less memory work for the first one, and conceptual work for the latter i guess....i don't like metab, not only because of the heavy memorization, but also it's a biochemistry module, the DAMN DEPARTMENT IS FREAKINGLY DEMANDING.....
molecular biology was actually the one which freaked me out the most at first, that was only during the beginning, i like the syllabus, it's something relevant, and make more sense compared to some stupid memory work...oops..i didn't mean metab oh.....it's a very challenging module in terms of exam nevertheless....
so..what's my plan after exam??first destination has to be queensway, i've broken mine and feng ee's racquet string, not a good sign, doesn't show that you've got strength in playing badminton but just, not good in taking care of racquet.....
anyway, will keep it updated after all the papers..
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