my nature

enjoying a cup of tea in a cafe while blogging, although it's only a tiny cafe in hostel, but with its dim lighting, soft musics, the thing that i was trying to do for the past days, is being done now effortlessly--blogging...
being in my own room, the coziest corner i thought it was in NUS, still i couldn't make myself to write just a few lines here, was really upset about that, really, really upset about it.....
i guess there's a reason why sofa is a must to be placed in the living room, what can i say? now that i'm sitting on a sofa, everything become so easy, i mean, when was the last time i felt so relaxed? my sleeping time last night? there's still doubt as to whether i can achieve such tranquility even when i'm sleeping every night.....
well the answer is obvious, even when i'm alone in my room, i'm not entirely relaxed, things in my head just don't wanna let me off for even a few hours, i'm not in any mood to write, not even few sentences, even when my mind is overloaded....
it's just my personality, nothing wrong with the environment, i'm already lucky enough, and everyone is treating me with their full heart, well, maybe not full heart, but at least very kindly....
knowing that there's someone actually facing the same problem as i'm now, even that he's at the other side of earth, does make me feel a little better, temporarily, but that doesn't solve the problem, i'm still feeling bad, i'm still inconfident with everything i'm doing now, i'm still doubting if i have the capability to boost up to the next level after the current one, i'm still questioning, my destiny....
it might be normal, it could be just another transition stage in life, and the list of reasons can just go on, and i know there's nothing much can be done to make me feel better right now, i can't just run away from everything here, i'm just gonna lost more than everything,
well c'mon man, it's just the beginning, you still have plenty of time and chances to switch in the future, well again as i said, it's my nature, who am i to fight with it?