开始有点讨厌自己的房间，十点不到，太阳直射房里，又闷又热，那还有睡意？
又在浏览朋友们的friendster照片，发觉在一百张当中，大概有超过一半的都是在大学的生活，也就是说，不是与自己一同度过的生活。
饶是如此，在那当中还是夹杂着那一两张曾经拥有的照片，看着那时候的自己，也看着那时候的朋友，感觉涌上心头，朋友，还是老的好，还是老的了解自己，特别是这段期间，简直难以笔墨形容。
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Frustration
ah....i just hate the feeling, i just hate the feeling that i can't do what i want to do, and i'm FORCED to do what i'm TOLD to do....
what's the feeling when you only do what you're told to, but not what you feel and want to,that's probably the heaviest punishment to one, well maybe not for those who doesn't really know what he or she wants, but those people are just.....worthless to mention
i hate being a doll, i hate ordered by people, i just don't wanna do things that i don't feel correct but some other people do, and i just don't feel i'm myself anymore when i'm acting according to other people's reaction or response,they are disgusting, who are they and what makes them think they can decide for me?what is so great in them until they think their words and decisions are correct?
capability is probably a complement, popularity is the only thing you need to make command in this world....i don't believe in this,not in the past, not in the present,never in the future, i don't believe in the lies of those "thick-skinned" people, i'm not entertained by those fooling around from jokers indulged in their popularities....
my words are not taken, my voices are not heard, well if that's the case what else do i care??hell yeah, what else should i care,it's just rubbish to me after all
what's the feeling when you only do what you're told to, but not what you feel and want to,that's probably the heaviest punishment to one, well maybe not for those who doesn't really know what he or she wants, but those people are just.....worthless to mention
i hate being a doll, i hate ordered by people, i just don't wanna do things that i don't feel correct but some other people do, and i just don't feel i'm myself anymore when i'm acting according to other people's reaction or response,they are disgusting, who are they and what makes them think they can decide for me?what is so great in them until they think their words and decisions are correct?
capability is probably a complement, popularity is the only thing you need to make command in this world....i don't believe in this,not in the past, not in the present,never in the future, i don't believe in the lies of those "thick-skinned" people, i'm not entertained by those fooling around from jokers indulged in their popularities....
my words are not taken, my voices are not heard, well if that's the case what else do i care??hell yeah, what else should i care,it's just rubbish to me after all
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
what a day......
the first day of semester 4 was no fun at all.....
well the lecturer for the first lesson today ended up late for almost an hour, and he could still give some stupid excuses smilingly like a rock star awaited long by fans.....and sorry to say that i just couldn't feel his excitement in his teaching, all i felt was just...sleepiness, sleepiness, and sleepiness, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
rushing from LT32 to LT10 is definitely going to be a new challenge for me this coming semester, i guess i'm never gonna think that NUS students walk very slowly other than because of this reason, and guess what, the lecturer for the chinese module is another world class hypnotherapist with world class lame jokes.....
and again, rushing from LT10 to LT26 is again the same as above, well at least the lecturer this time isn't that boring, but i think i need more rest before going through all these again next week
well the lecturer for the first lesson today ended up late for almost an hour, and he could still give some stupid excuses smilingly like a rock star awaited long by fans.....and sorry to say that i just couldn't feel his excitement in his teaching, all i felt was just...sleepiness, sleepiness, and sleepiness, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
rushing from LT32 to LT10 is definitely going to be a new challenge for me this coming semester, i guess i'm never gonna think that NUS students walk very slowly other than because of this reason, and guess what, the lecturer for the chinese module is another world class hypnotherapist with world class lame jokes.....
and again, rushing from LT10 to LT26 is again the same as above, well at least the lecturer this time isn't that boring, but i think i need more rest before going through all these again next week
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
sunset
it's the second day for msl performance team to practise for the International Student Night of Infusion, and it serves as a reminder to me that the school, is reopening soon and i, am going to the fourth semester in NUS...
didn't expect it to come so fast, i mean, 2 weeks before this when i just got back to this little room, i was still wondering what can i do much during such a long holiday faraway from home before school starts again, since the only reason for me being here 2 weeks before school reopens is only to "standby", for god's sake...
well 2 weeks passed, and i'm almost done with my timetable arrangement, time to settle down for another long war i guess, not another actually, it's a prolonged, years-lasting war, and the past one month of so called holiday was just a resting period, for you to breath, yeah, just to breath....
the sky is getting dark, and i had to switch on lights in my room, and oh, it's another nice sunset of the day from the view of my cluster corridor...
people with chinese education background would understand one famous chinese saying about the sunset, saying how nice it is to admire throughout the whole day, but how also so short that people wouldn't have chance to appreciate much before it disappears everyday....
sunset, is like the trailer of a movie, short but not to be missed, it shows, only, the best part of the movie, just like life in everyday, the best part of life in everyday.
i used to like sunset a lot, and i still remembered how i jogged and admired the sunset when i was still staying in my hometown, it is, something that you can have and appreciate everyday, but just because you can doesn't mean that you will....
but now, i miss home a lot everytime i see sunset, it's not so nice to use the best part of your day to miss home, but somehow at this particular moment, i just feel a little discouraged.....
nah...not really negative, i should say it's nostalgia rather than discouraged coz...i'm back to the war, back to the war of unknown, i'm always struggling, there are always more than one parties inside me, taking their turns to tell me what to do, and without fail, ask me what to believe in....
i'm fine, don't worry, i'm just....doing what i'm used to do a lot all the time, and tomorrow is gonna be just like any other day, just what i'm used to all the time...
didn't expect it to come so fast, i mean, 2 weeks before this when i just got back to this little room, i was still wondering what can i do much during such a long holiday faraway from home before school starts again, since the only reason for me being here 2 weeks before school reopens is only to "standby", for god's sake...
well 2 weeks passed, and i'm almost done with my timetable arrangement, time to settle down for another long war i guess, not another actually, it's a prolonged, years-lasting war, and the past one month of so called holiday was just a resting period, for you to breath, yeah, just to breath....
the sky is getting dark, and i had to switch on lights in my room, and oh, it's another nice sunset of the day from the view of my cluster corridor...
people with chinese education background would understand one famous chinese saying about the sunset, saying how nice it is to admire throughout the whole day, but how also so short that people wouldn't have chance to appreciate much before it disappears everyday....
sunset, is like the trailer of a movie, short but not to be missed, it shows, only, the best part of the movie, just like life in everyday, the best part of life in everyday.
i used to like sunset a lot, and i still remembered how i jogged and admired the sunset when i was still staying in my hometown, it is, something that you can have and appreciate everyday, but just because you can doesn't mean that you will....
but now, i miss home a lot everytime i see sunset, it's not so nice to use the best part of your day to miss home, but somehow at this particular moment, i just feel a little discouraged.....
nah...not really negative, i should say it's nostalgia rather than discouraged coz...i'm back to the war, back to the war of unknown, i'm always struggling, there are always more than one parties inside me, taking their turns to tell me what to do, and without fail, ask me what to believe in....
i'm fine, don't worry, i'm just....doing what i'm used to do a lot all the time, and tomorrow is gonna be just like any other day, just what i'm used to all the time...
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