Emo

i seriously didn't realize how good i am nowadays to suppress all the stresses which i've been facing all along, not until something deliberately triggered the release of them.....
alright, i'm not having a exam schedule as tight as others, i'm not having papers as demanding as others, so does that mean i don't deserve to feel stressed?
give me a solid reason for me to continue to be here hanging on like a walking zombie?
i realize it's been a long long long time since i do something i really really really enjoy, i've been masking myself days and nights, i've been showing myself to be too strong to others, the belief that wei feng is a tough guy who can always manage his emotions and feelings pretty well is at least partially incorrect, if not fully...
as i said, now only that i realized i've learnt so well, that i've suppressed them all down unconsciously, all disappointment, all frustration, all sorts of negative feelings, having a fairly good control of emotion or simply high EQ is a must in the modern society, so i learn to SUPPRESS, without my acknowledgement....
i wish, the day will come, when i do not have to be responsible for others, i tend to take others' feelings and put them upon my shoulder, with the sacrifice of my own emotions, my own very needs......
blame my personality, don't tell me there are a lot more unfortunate people out there, i don't care even if there's a rule of not being allowed to stay moody as long as you're not the most unfortunate person on earth......
can i commit suicide?that's gonna hurt a lot of people's feeling, see i'm taking care of other people more than myself again, i hate being rational sometimes, getting more and more times in fact, it's just perfect for some other people to emotionally "bully" me while i stay calm, rationalizing every bits of childishness if i'm gonna get upset by those....
now i see, that's how i suppress everything inside, like what Wall-E does with all the rubbish, but Wall-E does release them out and manipulate them constructively, which makes me wonder, when was the last time i release all of them out and manipulate them constructively?