如果我在下一刻消失，会有人在乎吗？
总是有的，父母弟妹会心痛欲绝，可除此之外，还会有人吗？
大概是不会有了，可悲的事实，总会在一次又一次最不经意的时候提醒自己
所有的假象，都是会破灭的气泡，经不起那么一点的触碰
做人的意义，在这一个晚上，显得模糊，让人质疑它的存在
Friday, December 10, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
family? i doubt so
what's the meaning of having a family?
what i mean here is not the immediate family, i don't mean parents AND siblings, i mean parents' siblings
I remember returning to the so-called "kampung" every festival or non-festival celebration, chinese new year and granny's birthday. I remember feeling awkward since young being in the big family, not being able to mix well with cousins, and uncles and aunties with childishness anyone couldn't ever imagine. I remember growing older and then realize that that's simply my dad's "kampung", not mine, that's simply his siblings, not mine, that's simply uncles' and aunties' children, not really that much of my cousins, at least judging from what i feel from them since young
so when one single member in the big "family" gets fuckingly childish and annoying, to the extent that you feel like not freaking care and just slap her head off her fucking body, it simply irritates you even more that you couldn't do that not because you don't have the gut, but because you just don't want things to get things too ugly in the so called "family" as after all, that's where your parents belong to when they grow older
and when the children grow old enough to start a new life, it's a duty to make sure that parents are not losing everything in their lives, at least a family other than the children
so it's just difficult when you cannot stand a 50 over years old baby in the family making noises at home while you try hard to make it a land of peace for parents, why can't someone just smash her to hell and slowly barbeque her devilish body? it'd be a good deed to just get rid of someone contributing nothing to this already chaotic world but only creating mess, count me in for the barbeque in hell
what i mean here is not the immediate family, i don't mean parents AND siblings, i mean parents' siblings
I remember returning to the so-called "kampung" every festival or non-festival celebration, chinese new year and granny's birthday. I remember feeling awkward since young being in the big family, not being able to mix well with cousins, and uncles and aunties with childishness anyone couldn't ever imagine. I remember growing older and then realize that that's simply my dad's "kampung", not mine, that's simply his siblings, not mine, that's simply uncles' and aunties' children, not really that much of my cousins, at least judging from what i feel from them since young
so when one single member in the big "family" gets fuckingly childish and annoying, to the extent that you feel like not freaking care and just slap her head off her fucking body, it simply irritates you even more that you couldn't do that not because you don't have the gut, but because you just don't want things to get things too ugly in the so called "family" as after all, that's where your parents belong to when they grow older
and when the children grow old enough to start a new life, it's a duty to make sure that parents are not losing everything in their lives, at least a family other than the children
so it's just difficult when you cannot stand a 50 over years old baby in the family making noises at home while you try hard to make it a land of peace for parents, why can't someone just smash her to hell and slowly barbeque her devilish body? it'd be a good deed to just get rid of someone contributing nothing to this already chaotic world but only creating mess, count me in for the barbeque in hell
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